A Hard, Draining, Difficult, and Wonderful Year
Lamentations 3:22-23 -“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.”
Today makes one year. One whole year since Isaac has had a seizure. It’s been a good year in many ways and an extremely hard year in others. It has been a year with a lot of changes, but in the midst of all of it God has been faithful.
I will admit that sometimes during the past year I wasn’t sure how we were going to get through the day, but somehow God always gave us the strength to do so. Isaac not only struggled with seizures but he is also is autistic and one of his autistic traits is that he gets fixated on certain things. Last year, one of those things was an iPad or a video game system. They were a security blanket for him, yet every time he had a seizure during the last part of 2015 into early 2016 he had one of them in his hands. We prayed for wisdom as to what was causing the seizures and then with the last one, April 3, 2016 it because painfully obvious. They were caused by the video games or iPads. I began to research them and found out a lot about things like refresh rates and how the brain handles flashing patterns on screens. An iPad flashes 30 times per second, so does an xbox one, that is the prime number for seizures. He loved them, they gave him security but they had to go. That was obvious, what wasn’t obvious was how we were going to handle them being gone. How was he going to do?
There were hard days, trying days, and days of shaking our heads. Days of saying how are we going to do this? Days of fighting and days of wondering. Then something wonderful began to happen, Isaac began to talk more, he began to notice more, he actually began to be happier. He had lost his security blanket, but he had discovered so many other things. A big brother to play with, a little brother who got on his nerves, but who he loved to play with as well, and a family that loved him and friends that do too. The transformation was slow but it was beautiful. Now a year later, I’m thankful. The last seizure that I prayed wouldn’t happen, did happen, but if it wouldn’t have happened we would have never known the cause, and Isaac would still be clinging to those security blankets.
The last year has been tough but God has been faithful. His mercies have been new every morning, and even though my sinfulness has been obvious over the past year, God has been good, and I am learning to trust Him more and more. The Bible says, “He is working all things together for good for those who love the Lord.” I don’t pretend to understand that, sometimes when life doesn’t make sense that verse may not seem to make sense. But it is still true, God is still working for our good, whether it seems that way or not, and whether we know it or not. God is good, and He is faithful so we can trust Him. We can trust the one whose mercies are new every morning, we can trust the one who is working for good, we can trust the one who loved us enough that He laid down His life for us. Sometimes life doesn’t make sense, but even then God is faithful, and He is worthy to be praised and trusted.